Friday, March 14, 2008

Poo

I've had it with people that don't know or are to careless to poo properly in the great outdoors. I've been seeing more and more toilet paper strewn about in the brush and more and more loosely stacked rocks barely concealing piles of shit. It also seems to be happening closer and closer to the boulders, not to mention rivers and streams. To top it off, I had a most revolting experience at Ibex. 

After breakfast and tea, I hiked away from the boulders to take care of my morning movement. I found a spot that I thought was suitable because I was out of view of Kevin's prying eyes. I went to pick up a smallish rock, shaped like a spade, and perfect for digging a little hole. As soon as my fingers wrapped around the stone I knew the worst had happened. Moist TP and feces on my finger tips...a perfect antidote for tender skin. I wanted to vomit, but even more I wanted to kick the fucker's ass who so thoughtfully left their shit for me to discover.

So for those of you who don't already know how, this is how you make brownies in the woods:

1. Find a spot at least 100 feet from any body of water (yes dry stream beds count) and away from places people and their pets congregate.
2. Dig a hole, six inches is good although sometimes rocky soils make this difficult. Try your best.
3. Poo.
4. Either burn your toilet tissue or pack it out in a zip-lock bag. 
5. Bury your poo. If you want extra credit, stir some soil in with your poo with a stick to help it decompose faster before burying it.

That's it, not so bad eh? Happy pooing everyone.


2 comments:

Johnclimbrok said...

That's why I only wipe with snow now. No snow = no wipe. Live by it.

shannon said...

something about ibex inspires people to hide their poo under rocks. when i was out there my friend al and i went to move a small rock that was right under a problem we wanted to try- guess what was hiding under the rock?

too many gym climbers at the boulders?